Max – some nice things happening here. Some thoughts:
1. I’m wondering if those puffy white clouds are supposed to be “bite marks”? If yes, then I think you should really look at bite marks. These aren’t quite as suggestive as they could be, in my opinion. And, possibly, the bite marks on the cover are a bit too large, not leaving quite enough burger edge. Could someone actually bite that much burger? The cut lines on the cover that sit within those shapes could fit better too. Think about our conversation in class about placing text inside of circles. Consider working carefully with the shape of the text block as it sits within these shapes. 2. Move the bar code off the word in bottom right… we really can’t read that word easily enough. Where else can it go? These days, bar codes can be smaller than in years past… so as your “bite marks” change shape and size, maybe this will leave some room for that bar code below one of them. It does not have to sit directly in the corner, just close to the corner. OR, it could move off the cover entirely, because it could sit on the back page of a magazine.
3. Contents: What text could move up and into the puffy white cloud in top left (or bite mark I think)? The season/date… or the address? It should probably hold something!
Separating the page number from the article title this much just makes this hard to quickly navigate (currently they hug opposite edges of the text frame). What is the purpose of this page? It is to help the reader quickly find their way through the magazine. So, if the page number is FL… then the title should be FL next to it – or all text here must be FR.
4. Page 4/5 – how could this headline shape become more compact and concise? Be a typographer… and think about a jigsaw puzzle. How can the words The Best Burger in America work together in a way that fits the space you have allocated to it, but in a more interesting way. Should you turn the small words at a 90 degree angle and fit them next to the big words? Fit these words together like puzzle pieces.
5. If I have talked you into playing more with the sizes and positions of your headline words – consider adding some expressive contrast to the subheading. Could it be “Where is the BEST burger in America?” Does that help us understand the list below at first glance?
6. I don’t quite understand the positioning of those underlined numbers, or even the number themselves, that appear squished between the paragraphs, centered in this text block? Oh – I see… it’s a countdown. I suggest you add that to the subhead “Count Down to the BEST American burger”. And, should you not be helping the reader see those rather than the initial caps on each paragraph? Rule of Thumb: often, using multiple drop caps on a page is not as successful as using just one instance. So, maybe having the drop cap on the intro paragraph (and bold that paragraph?) would give us just a bit of contrast between the intro and the start of the list itself. Either add more space above #10, or move those numbers to the left, where we would expect to start reading about that particular burger spot.
Love the graphic on this page – burger inside of the state… NICE!
Max – some nice things happening here. Some thoughts:
ReplyDelete1. I’m wondering if those puffy white clouds are supposed to be “bite marks”? If yes, then I think you should really look at bite marks. These aren’t quite as suggestive as they could be, in my opinion. And, possibly, the bite marks on the cover are a bit too large, not leaving quite enough burger edge. Could someone actually bite that much burger? The cut lines on the cover that sit within those shapes could fit better too. Think about our conversation in class about placing text inside of circles. Consider working carefully with the shape of the text block as it sits within these shapes.
2. Move the bar code off the word in bottom right… we really can’t read that word easily enough. Where else can it go? These days, bar codes can be smaller than in years past… so as your “bite marks” change shape and size, maybe this will leave some room for that bar code below one of them. It does not have to sit directly in the corner, just close to the corner. OR, it could move off the cover entirely, because it could sit on the back page of a magazine.
3. Contents: What text could move up and into the puffy white cloud in top left (or bite mark I think)? The season/date… or the address? It should probably hold something!
Separating the page number from the article title this much just makes this hard to quickly navigate (currently they hug opposite edges of the text frame). What is the purpose of this page? It is to help the reader quickly find their way through the magazine. So, if the page number is FL… then the title should be FL next to it – or all text here must be FR.
4. Page 4/5 – how could this headline shape become more compact and concise? Be a typographer… and think about a jigsaw puzzle. How can the words The Best Burger in America work together in a way that fits the space you have allocated to it, but in a more interesting way. Should you turn the small words at a 90 degree angle and fit them next to the big words? Fit these words together like puzzle pieces.
5. If I have talked you into playing more with the sizes and positions of your headline words – consider adding some expressive contrast to the subheading. Could it be “Where is the BEST burger in America?” Does that help us understand the list below at first glance?
6. I don’t quite understand the positioning of those underlined numbers, or even the number themselves, that appear squished between the paragraphs, centered in this text block? Oh – I see… it’s a countdown. I suggest you add that to the subhead “Count Down to the BEST American burger”. And, should you not be helping the reader see those rather than the initial caps on each paragraph? Rule of Thumb: often, using multiple drop caps on a page is not as successful as using just one instance. So, maybe having the drop cap on the intro paragraph (and bold that paragraph?) would give us just a bit of contrast between the intro and the start of the list itself. Either add more space above #10, or move those numbers to the left, where we would expect to start reading about that particular burger spot.
Love the graphic on this page – burger inside of the state… NICE!