Max – this looks like something you may have done early in your time here, and there is good potential here. I love the pencil work over the photo mashup, as well as the typography of the heading. Some thoughts:
The image is a bit confusing. Do you need the straight-penciled horizontal and vertical lines that bisect the eye? We already see the graph paper in the background… and so I’m not sure what the point of those pencil lines is.
The “action” here is seen in the rainbow refraction of light as it passes into/out of the eye. Great. But, that is also getting lost in the business of the composition. How can we simplify and highlight this at the same time? Consider the path of light going into the eye… hmmm, do we even see this happening?
Not really… but maybe that IS the message you need to convey here – light entering the eye and then leaving. That IS the way it works. So, how about returning to this and choosing a direction from which a rainbow stream heads to the eye, and an opposition direction for it to leave. Into and out of. This is help give meaning to the visual message, and create something that is more of a real world project (book cover).
Now, I’m not sure this project can be pulled apart in this manner… I don’t know if you have the files to return to, and I don’t know if you actually made the rainbow streams. So, if you can’t dive back into this in that way… please know that there is a bit too much happening here for us to understand what this project is about. The pencil lines are a great addition, but I’m a little sad that they cover the blue of the iris. And the thin rainbow streams are too subtle. Where is the color in this? Rainbows and eyes are often, usually, the focal points. But… neither are as bright, clear, and beautiful as they could be here. So they are not living up to their potential.
I would replace your byline (Designed by: Max…) with some subheading that helps explain the visual message here. What is your message? Color Refraction… The World of Color… Human Perception and Color… Make something up that supports the message you are communicating here. Think about this being a book cover design.
Max – this looks like something you may have done early in your time here, and there is good potential here. I love the pencil work over the photo mashup, as well as the typography of the heading. Some thoughts:
ReplyDeleteThe image is a bit confusing. Do you need the straight-penciled horizontal and vertical lines that bisect the eye? We already see the graph paper in the background… and so I’m not sure what the point of those pencil lines is.
The “action” here is seen in the rainbow refraction of light as it passes into/out of the eye. Great. But, that is also getting lost in the business of the composition. How can we simplify and highlight this at the same time? Consider the path of light going into the eye… hmmm, do we even see this happening?
Not really… but maybe that IS the message you need to convey here – light entering the eye and then leaving. That IS the way it works. So, how about returning to this and choosing a direction from which a rainbow stream heads to the eye, and an opposition direction for it to leave. Into and out of. This is help give meaning to the visual message, and create something that is more of a real world project (book cover).
Now, I’m not sure this project can be pulled apart in this manner… I don’t know if you have the files to return to, and I don’t know if you actually made the rainbow streams. So, if you can’t dive back into this in that way… please know that there is a bit too much happening here for us to understand what this project is about. The pencil lines are a great addition, but I’m a little sad that they cover the blue of the iris. And the thin rainbow streams are too subtle. Where is the color in this? Rainbows and eyes are often, usually, the focal points. But… neither are as bright, clear, and beautiful as they could be here. So they are not living up to their potential.
I would replace your byline (Designed by: Max…) with some subheading that helps explain the visual message here. What is your message? Color Refraction… The World of Color… Human Perception and Color… Make something up that supports the message you are communicating here. Think about this being a book cover design.